Beltman Family News: Goodbye My Sweetpea

Yet another emotional day here at the Beltman household. Why let our emotions simmer too long, might as well keep adding on the pile, right?! Over the last year my fabulous dog, Sweetpea, has been suffering from severe weight loss and kidney disease. We debated when we found out whether we should just put her to sleep or see if we could get her to gain some weight. Over the course of the year we started a special diet for her kidneys and weight gain and had her on two different medications, but she continued to lose weight. Ultimately she went from 28 pounds a year ago to 18 at the last vet visit. Three weeks ago we went through a nasty battle with stomach issues with her and she just wasn't getting her spunk back from that. Not to mention the fact that at approximately 17 years old it was getting rough for her to jump up onto the couch, get up and down the stairs, and finally even lay down comfortably. We have also been battling urine leakage and lots of potty accidents over the last month, which is so out of character for her. This past weekend we finally made the decision to put her to sleep. I called Monday, but lost the nerve and hung up before the phone was even answered. After lots of soul searching and talking with my mom and Brad I called back in the afternoon and scheduled the appointment. I can't tell you how many times I debated cancelling over the last two days, but in the end I stayed strong. I still can't say I know it was the right decision, but everyone else I've talked to says it was so for now I'm taking their word for it. One thing that makes me feel like it was time was that when we got into the car to head to the appointment "Happy Trails" was playing on the car stereo. This was the final song at my dad's funeral back in July and is a song that we never EVER let play even though its on one of the CDs for Sophia. The fact that it was in the middle of that song, right at the chorus, says to me that Daddy was trying to tell me it was okay to let her go.

I spoiled Sweetpea all day today. Lots of hugs and playing all day long, popcorn for a snack, and finally pot roast and cheese for dinner. I even took an extra helping along to the vet so she could eat it while she got the initial sedative. The entire process was extremely gentle and loving and I have nothing but wonderful things to say about our vet. She was actually snoring away after the initial sedative so I know she didn't feel a thing. I took my time cuddling and kissing her and then said my final goodbyes. I know some people think I'm crazy, but we are having her cremated and will be bringing her ashes back home. I've loved her far too long to just leave her somewhere.

So once again I've had to say my goodbyes and shed some tears. I told Brad tonight that after the last six months (especially the last month) I deserve to not have any bad news for at least the rest of the year. Any chance that can really happen?